My eldest son was watching, Nanny911 tonight. I've just got this to say...I would find it surprising indeed for any self-respecting Southerner (and not a freaking snowbird... but someone actually born/raised here) to be on that show, ever. That's right, I said ever. Here's why... I don't know what all ya'll put up from your younguns north and west of the Mason Dixon Line but here's a couple of things that will get your butt greased in the Piggly Wiggly down here (and not necessarily by your Momma or anyone that you actually know)-- we may be rednecks down here but we are, at least, well-mannered rednecks:
(1) Disrespecting your parents/grand-parents/basically anyone older than you. All of that magic is spanked right out of you with a switch that you gathered at first light at your Mother's request. Basically that is a HUGE "no-no" here. Don't even go there... it ain't pretty if you do. You are instead taught to say, "Ma'am/Sir" as in "Thank you, Sir/Ma'am," "Please Ma'am/Sir." If not, you're simply slapped into next week by the first available hand that can reach you. Then, they'll find your parent, find someone that you know or that knows your parents/grandparents--tell them and lastly will shame you with this nuggest for the rest of your life ("Hey... aren't you so-and-so's youngun? I thought so. I remember when you were a little thing and you did..."). Yup... everyone will know what an asshole you were at 3, will look at you cock-eyed and probably still think of you as such until you die. Matter-of-fact, they'll remember you at your funeral the same way: "Remember when..." There's no escaping it. Better to just not do it, please ma'am/sir.
(2) Hitting your parent. When did this get to be okay? I would think this would be obvious... but I'm going to go there any how. I don't advocate beating your child senseless by any means, but I'm not opposed to dusting their britches if other alternatives haven't worked. Being born and raised in the South, you have ingrained in you that you WILL respect your parents, grandparents, etc. or they will assist you in that endeavor. As many grandparent and parent would suggest to their upstart pertaining to this issue: "I think I'd be more afraid of what's going to happen when your Momma finds out rather than worry about what your friends think." Always a good reminder... as my mother told me... "If you think I'll be embarrassed finding out about whatever it is you're gettin' into, then you don't need it or don't need to do it." Shame and guilt works just as well as spankings, time-out or any thing else punitive. I've yet to hear on the news of any child born and raised here in the rural South killing their mother/father. They'd probably know that their parent would make it a point to haunt their ass for the rest of their days; Amityville Horror would have nothing on this.
(3) Children with potty-mouths/swearing/cursing. When did it get okay for a child to know more swear words than you? When did it get to be okay to say them in front of your child? When did it get to be okay with them swearing in front of you? This plainly and simply goes back to respect; respecting yourself and respecting your family. Free speech is fine and I love a good debate; however, I don't want to see "trash" coming out of a 4 year old's mouth. It's amazing to me all of the cursing that is on TV. It's like stopping the tide. You know that they are going to hear it at some point, but do they really need to hear it repeatedly from their parent? Soap and water worked fine with us as children...is anyone out there suffering from some sort of "Post-Traumatic Mouth Washing Syndrome?"
(4): When did parent's lose control of the children? On this particular show, it was like the animals were running the zoo... totally out of control. You don't have to have children under your thumb per se; you do have to set and actually (GASP!) enforce the limits that you've set... ergo, this means discipline- since kids, by nature, are going to test the limits and see if you really, really, REALLY mean it. So really, really, REALLY mean it when you set limits...limits to live by as it were. If you're inconsistent, they're going to know you're full of shit and can manipulate you into conceding. Other than that, love your kids. Get down on the floor and have fun with them, hug 'em, kiss 'em, tell 'em that you love 'em and mean it. Listen to them and the things that they will tell you. Tell them that you need them in your life and that you are glad they are here with you; they need to hear this as well. I think that's one of the things I remember most about my childhood in the South. I remember, no matter what was going on (read: in trouble or not), I knew that I was loved, wanted and needed.
Other than that, I thought that Nanny Whoever was right on target (I just know she's looking for my seal of approval, don't you?)... the bulk of the problems on the show tonight were a direct result from the parent's relationship. Neither respected each other; both were very angry with each other... and it showed. Not only in their relationship, but also the relationships that the children had with each other and with each parent.
That's my take on it even if I am GRITS (Girl Raised In The South)...
Labels: Nanny 911
