Ponderings, Ramblings, Musings and Rants
From: Alabama, United States
About me: I'm a 42 year old single parent of two boys (ages 3 and 13--one going through potty-training and the other through puberty. Just stick a nail in my eye. God has a wayyy funny sense of humor, no?)who routinely keep me very busy. I miss having a conversation that doesn't begin or end with "whatevvveerrr..." and the requiste eye-roll...
Rant
I've not been in much of a mood to write... I've just not been inclined to sit my ass down and start typing for whatever reason. It's not the "I'm threatened by the 'white BLANK page that I must fill up" kinda thing but more a long the lines of "hasn't it all pretty much been said before and what unique perspective can I offer?" So I offer you random bullshit... I'll preface with this: opinions are cost competitive, I'll trade you mine for yours.
1.) The whole immigration thing is bullshit.
Personally I think it sucks sheep nuts that if I go to Mexico I'm pretty much shit out of luck in as far as having the locals kiss my lily WASP English speaking ass providing free medical care (and by the way, ensuring that the medical staff is culturally competent and able to speak to me in my native language), teaching my children in the language/culture that is "indigenous" to them, etc ad nauseum. I wouldn't expect to go to any other country (illegally no less) and DEMAND that everyone accomodate me. Apparently there are a lot of global narcissists and they all flock here.
2.) Why, if there is something remotely ethnic going on in the world does Jesse Jackson feel compelled to go and offer his two cents worth?
Who the hell cares? The pot at the end of that Rainbow Coalition has nothing but a turd in it and ol' Jesse is standing there laughing his ass off stirring up a storm.
3.) Restructuring (referencing work) simply means that you are about to get screwed.
How deeply and vigorously and with how much lube (or without) is entirely dependent on where you are in the cliched food chain and/or how much you are willing to swallow rather than spit.
4.) The sense of entitlement that exists... um.. this is America... home of capitalism.
Your existence is entirely dependent on: the determination you have to get where you want to go and/or the ability you possess to get there. You are not "entitled" to shit on this earth and in your lifetime except death, taxes and working your ass off to maintain the status quo or get where you want to go. That's it. Illegal immigrants don't want to work? Okay with me. How about all of the yahoo's on welfare that are perfectly able to work but just sitting on their ass collecting a check? "It's tooooo harrrrddd..." Welfare check giver: "Well sweetpuss, you want the check, better start pickin'..." Yup.. that's work-- 4 letters and it sucks. It also sucks for the remainder of us that are out there in the workforce putting up with various quanitities other people's shit to provide for that check that you're opening while eating corn doodles wearing pink fuzzy slippers and watching Montel Williams, Oprah or Jerry Springer.
5.) What the hell has happened to accountability?
Why are we excusing behavior ("Well... this and such happened and that caused them to do whatever...")? Teach your children responsibility and accountability... then actually lead by example. It IS okay to say NO when applicable.
6.) The "no child left behind" law is idiotic.
If kids can't perform the fundamental concepts that are/should be taught in school their ass NEEDS to be left behind. Why does everyone have to be successful? If you screw up, you fail... rinse and repeat until they LEARN and are indeed successful. That is called: LIFE (not the game but the "reality show" you're actually involved in). No shit... 7th grader spelled "treated" as "TREEDED;" saw it myself on the "braggin' right's board." I would be embarrassed not elated if that was my son. Which leads me to...
7.) Phonetics is bullshit too. Enuf sayed.
8 ) Why does anyone remotely even give a shit about Pat Robertson, the meterologist? If some asshat on the street "hears God" talking to them we think about committing their ass and dosing with strong psychotropics-- why should ol' Pat be any different? Load him up on Thorazine, place the nice white jacket on and lead him to the "soft" cell for some "quiet time."
Celebrity Shit... not that I care but because I can...
11.) Jessica or Nick?
I feel for Nick personally. I think Jessica's Dad is the main issue and probably believes in the old mantra, "Incest is best." Run Jessica! I also think Jessica is pretty but none-the-less a dolt. I don't think she's hiding her intelligence since that would be giving her credit for having some in the first place.
12.) Britney and Kevin?
I feel sorry for Britney. It would be extraordinarily difficult to have your entire life examined under a micron lens-- and especially when you're married to some cocksore hosebag like K-Fed.
13.) Denise or Heather?
This one is tricky... I think that there's more going on than either is really telling (court papers or not). Heather was probably bumpin' warm fuzzies with David Spade while married to Richie. Denise and Charlie...(Charlie is a complete asshat with or without the legal papers that support it)... Denise and Richie have probably been havin' at it while Charlie is out gamblin' on which ho to scrump. So it's kinda a "Desparate Hollywood Wives" thing happenin in my humble opinion.
14.) The weather this spring is completely messed up... we must've had gale force winds all day today while the temps were in the high 70's. Kinda like being in a convection oven set on "LOW."
15.) Employee bruhaha Saturday. It's about as exciting as watching socks dry personally. You get suck up points for seeing the VP's walk around in their "casual" clothes that cost wayyy more than anything I've ever spent in the Walmart couture line.
16.) I think we've lost a goodly portion of what common sense (as a society) that we once had... hell using the same mentality of the present day everyone one of us could file a complaint against our parents for abuse. Who didn't get their butt whooped? Who got roller skates with actual metal wheels and a key that we wore around our necks (which by the way, ya'll remember asking whoever had a bike to drag you around behind them)? Who used to iron clothes, light lamps (or anything electric at the time) with those fabric cords... no one traded them out when the fabric got thinned and frayed. There are a bunch more... staying outside and not checking in with either parent until dark (that's when you were supposed to come in) for one. You've probably got several yourself that you can list. Apparently by todays' standards, we're all lucky to be alive... wonder what the statute of limitations is (and I know that the statute of limitations on my mother getting a switch and whippin' my ass has not expired.. so I ain't sayin' shit to DHR/CPS! LOL)? When did we lose common sense?
17.) Hoffa: He hasn't been heard from in 20-30 years. Kids he's probably not coming back. In which case, he's probably dead, buried and taking the eternal dirt nap. Does anyone TRULY give a shit where his ass is planted? The whole diggin' up half of Michigan to find his fucking jawbone is stupid. What's more idiotic is that we're paying tax dollars for something that Geraldo Rivera would do in a prime time special for "free" or at least on pay-per-view.
1.) The whole immigration thing is bullshit.
Personally I think it sucks sheep nuts that if I go to Mexico I'm pretty much shit out of luck in as far as having the locals kiss my lily WASP English speaking ass providing free medical care (and by the way, ensuring that the medical staff is culturally competent and able to speak to me in my native language), teaching my children in the language/culture that is "indigenous" to them, etc ad nauseum. I wouldn't expect to go to any other country (illegally no less) and DEMAND that everyone accomodate me. Apparently there are a lot of global narcissists and they all flock here.
2.) Why, if there is something remotely ethnic going on in the world does Jesse Jackson feel compelled to go and offer his two cents worth?
Who the hell cares? The pot at the end of that Rainbow Coalition has nothing but a turd in it and ol' Jesse is standing there laughing his ass off stirring up a storm.
3.) Restructuring (referencing work) simply means that you are about to get screwed.
How deeply and vigorously and with how much lube (or without) is entirely dependent on where you are in the cliched food chain and/or how much you are willing to swallow rather than spit.
4.) The sense of entitlement that exists... um.. this is America... home of capitalism.
Your existence is entirely dependent on: the determination you have to get where you want to go and/or the ability you possess to get there. You are not "entitled" to shit on this earth and in your lifetime except death, taxes and working your ass off to maintain the status quo or get where you want to go. That's it. Illegal immigrants don't want to work? Okay with me. How about all of the yahoo's on welfare that are perfectly able to work but just sitting on their ass collecting a check? "It's tooooo harrrrddd..." Welfare check giver: "Well sweetpuss, you want the check, better start pickin'..." Yup.. that's work-- 4 letters and it sucks. It also sucks for the remainder of us that are out there in the workforce putting up with various quanitities other people's shit to provide for that check that you're opening while eating corn doodles wearing pink fuzzy slippers and watching Montel Williams, Oprah or Jerry Springer.
5.) What the hell has happened to accountability?
Why are we excusing behavior ("Well... this and such happened and that caused them to do whatever...")? Teach your children responsibility and accountability... then actually lead by example. It IS okay to say NO when applicable.
6.) The "no child left behind" law is idiotic.
If kids can't perform the fundamental concepts that are/should be taught in school their ass NEEDS to be left behind. Why does everyone have to be successful? If you screw up, you fail... rinse and repeat until they LEARN and are indeed successful. That is called: LIFE (not the game but the "reality show" you're actually involved in). No shit... 7th grader spelled "treated" as "TREEDED;" saw it myself on the "braggin' right's board." I would be embarrassed not elated if that was my son. Which leads me to...
7.) Phonetics is bullshit too. Enuf sayed.
8 ) Why does anyone remotely even give a shit about Pat Robertson, the meterologist? If some asshat on the street "hears God" talking to them we think about committing their ass and dosing with strong psychotropics-- why should ol' Pat be any different? Load him up on Thorazine, place the nice white jacket on and lead him to the "soft" cell for some "quiet time."
Celebrity Shit... not that I care but because I can...
11.) Jessica or Nick?
I feel for Nick personally. I think Jessica's Dad is the main issue and probably believes in the old mantra, "Incest is best." Run Jessica! I also think Jessica is pretty but none-the-less a dolt. I don't think she's hiding her intelligence since that would be giving her credit for having some in the first place.
12.) Britney and Kevin?
I feel sorry for Britney. It would be extraordinarily difficult to have your entire life examined under a micron lens-- and especially when you're married to some cocksore hosebag like K-Fed.
13.) Denise or Heather?
This one is tricky... I think that there's more going on than either is really telling (court papers or not). Heather was probably bumpin' warm fuzzies with David Spade while married to Richie. Denise and Charlie...(Charlie is a complete asshat with or without the legal papers that support it)... Denise and Richie have probably been havin' at it while Charlie is out gamblin' on which ho to scrump. So it's kinda a "Desparate Hollywood Wives" thing happenin in my humble opinion.
14.) The weather this spring is completely messed up... we must've had gale force winds all day today while the temps were in the high 70's. Kinda like being in a convection oven set on "LOW."
15.) Employee bruhaha Saturday. It's about as exciting as watching socks dry personally. You get suck up points for seeing the VP's walk around in their "casual" clothes that cost wayyy more than anything I've ever spent in the Walmart couture line.
16.) I think we've lost a goodly portion of what common sense (as a society) that we once had... hell using the same mentality of the present day everyone one of us could file a complaint against our parents for abuse. Who didn't get their butt whooped? Who got roller skates with actual metal wheels and a key that we wore around our necks (which by the way, ya'll remember asking whoever had a bike to drag you around behind them)? Who used to iron clothes, light lamps (or anything electric at the time) with those fabric cords... no one traded them out when the fabric got thinned and frayed. There are a bunch more... staying outside and not checking in with either parent until dark (that's when you were supposed to come in) for one. You've probably got several yourself that you can list. Apparently by todays' standards, we're all lucky to be alive... wonder what the statute of limitations is (and I know that the statute of limitations on my mother getting a switch and whippin' my ass has not expired.. so I ain't sayin' shit to DHR/CPS! LOL)? When did we lose common sense?
17.) Hoffa: He hasn't been heard from in 20-30 years. Kids he's probably not coming back. In which case, he's probably dead, buried and taking the eternal dirt nap. Does anyone TRULY give a shit where his ass is planted? The whole diggin' up half of Michigan to find his fucking jawbone is stupid. What's more idiotic is that we're paying tax dollars for something that Geraldo Rivera would do in a prime time special for "free" or at least on pay-per-view.
18.) Lastly: as dangerous as firecrackers are... wonder WHY there are NO directions on them (except in Chinese if you're lucky)? Just something to make you go, "Hmmm."
What ya'll been up to (other than not ending your sentences in a preposition)? ;)
Labels: Rant
McIrritated
I took BB to McDonald's tonight... why?? Cause I can, cause I didn't feel like cooking, 'cause I had a tiring day at work and cause the lil man was apparently hungry enough to eat a skunk butt when I got him from day care this afternoon. I don't do McDonalds here very much because inevitably I get pissed off. I have a couple of questions (rhetorical or not)...
(1): Every person in the world damned near has gone to McDonald's at some point in their life. Why do people study the drive-thru menu like it's the Rosetta Stone and they are suddenly struck blind by the sheer magnitude of it all? How in the hell could you not already know what you want by the time you get to the speaker? There are no McSurprises-- there really haven't been any McDonald menu shocks since the McRib and... well, of course, when the FDA mandated that everyone provide caloric intake/requirements. Even then, we're all, to some extent like: "MAN! 5,000 calories for a Big Mac, fries and the biggest coke in the world?? Must be why it tastes so good.... I'll have a number 1 please..."
(2) When did giving "special orders" get to be an okay thing to do in the drive-thru?? I shit you not... this is what I heard tonight: (Mini-van Mom): "Huuunnnyyyy... ya'll tell me what you want (of course 5 kids in the car and a simple fucking Happy Meal for each would not do!)"...5 minutes later: "Ok... 2 cheeseburgers, .. no wait... no ketchup on one and no onions on the other; then 2 hamburgers, no ketchup but add extra pickles and leave off the onions; 1 just plain hamburger-- just meat... no bun either (I swear!)... fries... small.. uh-huh..small... and 2 chocolate milks, 2 plain milks, 1 juice. OH! Can we have toys too? I have 3 boys and 2 girls. I'll just take a Big Mac with no lettuce and no middle bun." At this point I was about ready to jump out of my car and strangle this mini-van lady. Ya have to know that the person taking the order wants to start strangling her too but I'm pretty sure that mini-van Mom got some "special sauce" on her made to order Big Mac as a result.
When I FINALLY got up to the speaker to order I did so in less than 30 seconds. I even had exact change/money ready to go to give to the drive-thru cashier when I got there. Know how long it took from the time that I drove up until I drove away? It took 16 minutes; it took me all of 2 minutes to actually get my stuff (so a total of 3 minutes so far...) but Mini-Van Mom ate up (literally) the remaining 13 minutes.
The idea people is fast food drive-THRU-- not DriveUpStopNWaitForYourMealToBeCookedEspeciallyForYou,YesThisMeansYouToo. Micky-D's is like the MRE's of the fast food industry. Key words here: FAST food; drive THRU. This is McDonalds, not Burger King... you can't have it your way and you certainly don't NEED it YOUR way in the freakin' drive-thru.
(1): Every person in the world damned near has gone to McDonald's at some point in their life. Why do people study the drive-thru menu like it's the Rosetta Stone and they are suddenly struck blind by the sheer magnitude of it all? How in the hell could you not already know what you want by the time you get to the speaker? There are no McSurprises-- there really haven't been any McDonald menu shocks since the McRib and... well, of course, when the FDA mandated that everyone provide caloric intake/requirements. Even then, we're all, to some extent like: "MAN! 5,000 calories for a Big Mac, fries and the biggest coke in the world?? Must be why it tastes so good.... I'll have a number 1 please..."
(2) When did giving "special orders" get to be an okay thing to do in the drive-thru?? I shit you not... this is what I heard tonight: (Mini-van Mom): "Huuunnnyyyy... ya'll tell me what you want (of course 5 kids in the car and a simple fucking Happy Meal for each would not do!)"...5 minutes later: "Ok... 2 cheeseburgers, .. no wait... no ketchup on one and no onions on the other; then 2 hamburgers, no ketchup but add extra pickles and leave off the onions; 1 just plain hamburger-- just meat... no bun either (I swear!)... fries... small.. uh-huh..small... and 2 chocolate milks, 2 plain milks, 1 juice. OH! Can we have toys too? I have 3 boys and 2 girls. I'll just take a Big Mac with no lettuce and no middle bun." At this point I was about ready to jump out of my car and strangle this mini-van lady. Ya have to know that the person taking the order wants to start strangling her too but I'm pretty sure that mini-van Mom got some "special sauce" on her made to order Big Mac as a result.
When I FINALLY got up to the speaker to order I did so in less than 30 seconds. I even had exact change/money ready to go to give to the drive-thru cashier when I got there. Know how long it took from the time that I drove up until I drove away? It took 16 minutes; it took me all of 2 minutes to actually get my stuff (so a total of 3 minutes so far...) but Mini-Van Mom ate up (literally) the remaining 13 minutes.
The idea people is fast food drive-THRU-- not DriveUpStopNWaitForYourMealToBeCookedEspeciallyForYou,YesThisMeansYouToo. Micky-D's is like the MRE's of the fast food industry. Key words here: FAST food; drive THRU. This is McDonalds, not Burger King... you can't have it your way and you certainly don't NEED it YOUR way in the freakin' drive-thru.
Labels: McIrritated
Relationships
So okay; I was thinking just a minute ago as I was ramblin' through "Blogville, USA" and seeing... well hell, it seemed like damned near every blog/journal out there basically has some sort of "Single and Free to Mingle" theme happenin'. As I sat reading basically the same bullshit, different blog, different type, different writer--- SAME THEME I thought, "WTF. I'm gonna type about dating/relationships too." Yup, I'm copying in a sense... SAME THEME, DIFFERENT WORDS (at least from what I've seen recently). Here's the deal:
(1) Why most relationships/marriages don't work in today's society.
Ok... if you think on it, most relationships/marriages historically have placed the male in the role of "provider" and the female as the "nuturer." Thus, the female (historically) has felt an obligation (societal/personal/religious mores) to "allow" the male to be "dominant" in the relationship (e.g., "A man's home is his castle," "bringing home the bacon/sizzlelean) and therefore the "female" has "deferred"opinion/concern (whatever) to the male as a result (You're either yawning, saying, "Tell me something I don't already know;" or even, "Yes dammit. Yes. YES! That's exactly how it's supposed to be!) Now-a-days, it would seem that in the vast majority of relationships both partners have a job where neither is doing the whole June Cleaver pearl-wearing, milk & cookies-after-school thing. As a result, the female is not inherently dependent on the male as a provider... hell she's out huntin' the big game with the "King of the Castle" too. She may also bring in more "game" (read: $$) into the relationship and therefore may be a teench reluctant at the end of the day to "fetch the slippers, fix dinner, bathe the kid(s), put 'em all in bed and oh by the way, give me a blowjob while I'm watching Monday Nite football." Anymore, the most likely response to that would be: "I've had a hard day too." Translated means: "Get it yourself; fix it yourself; they'll do it themselves and take care of it yourself." Women are wanting to be taken care of nutured too. Women want men to treat us equally but also treat us as females (not like a passive species that just happens to be there at a time of convenience). Yes, I know it's a contradiction. Generally women have jobs, work the same number of total weekly hours (if not more) as their male counterparts-- and instead of feeling as though they can return to the bosom of their family with the understanding that the equalivalent of a beer/tv remote in hand while sitting in the Barcolounger (which may be defined as relaxing UNDISTURBED in a bathtub), well, non-existant. I can guaranandamntee ya that it ain't cookin' vittles, washing a "quick" load of clothes (is there any such thing as a quick load? It takes the same time to do as a "slow" load."), helping with homework, combing gum out of hair and the myraid of other things that occur in the evening hours. Granted... this is a generalization; the roles could be reversed but it's kinda like a unicorn ... you know it may exist but no one has ever really seen it. Ergo, since in today's society we are all forced to work (generally speaking) in some capacity or another, overall, women's self-reliance has increased and the all consuming need to swallow, rather than spit, has diminished exponentially as a result. If I was a betting woman, I'd bet that the 1800's woman married to some farmer who got a wild hair to go "out west" to farm/settle, would've divorced/left her hay-chewin' husband and headed back to town (where there may've been running water and you didn't have to dig in the fields with a baby on your tit)- 'fore the sun went down on his ass; no brainer. Not many women out there would HONESTLY rather (in a comparasion) "be" Laura Ingalls instead of Miss Kitty.
(2) Why all of the whine-assin' about not being in a relationship?
When the hell did people stop trying to make themselves happy first? Have folks forgotten a fundamental principle about being happy themselves, not relying on another for happiness... one of those "ya just gotta reach out and grab it by the balls things" that no one else can do (or is responsible) for ya? You ask and folks will tell you: "I want to marry someone. I want to marry my best friend." I just have to tell you, it's highly doubtful that occurs on a routine basis like this. It may happen and it may work like that for some; I tend to think that people can't separate love/lust and can't see further than the penis that they own or are "using." So like yourself first before you start inviting others into the misery of your own making; in the end, you'll be miserable and so will they. Sucks to be on the receiving end of either part of that stick.
(3) What the hell is up with feeling as though you have to make excuses for or justifying being single?
Who cares? Be happy with yourself and the hell with what other people think, or don't. This also goes along with being true to yourself. Sometimes folks get all creative and "pretend" (yes, I said pretend) to be someone they are not while dating in the hopes of lasso-ing that big hunk o' man (or woman) and sealing the deal. I have one question for you: What the hell are you doing? Any moron can get married. It takes a lot more effort, work and compromise to be in a real relationship. If you're making shit up about yourself, you're no where near ready to be in a relationship with anyone-- including yourself (you are after all lying to yourself, right? So if you can't be honest with yourself, who the hell can you be honest with?).
(4) I'm miserable because I'm single (variation: I need a wo/man to make me feel complete) and if I were married/in a monogamous relationship I'd feel more positive.
Bullshit. See number 3. You'd still be the same miserable shit you are now except you'd be sharing it with the one that you supposedly "love." I understand being depressed and yes, there are times in everyone's life that people get depressed. What I don't understand (or have patience for) is chronic depression (these are the folks that are depressed for YEARS). People who are chronically depressed do nothing but piss me off. They're wallowing in self-pity, egocentricism... and selfishness. "WHOOOAAA is MEEEEE." Get yourself some help; life is too short to be depressed for most of it. Succinctly: let whatever issue that's got or has had you by the balls for the last 20 years go or get help for it... shut up about it and move the hell on.
As for me, I don't have all of the answers and don't pretend to know. I'm not Dr. Phil or Oprah or any one else that is licensed to give advise (solicited or not). I've not been married for 50 years (and probably won't be); but I do know this... I'm not settling for something or someone that isn't right for me. If Prince Charming comes along on his trusty steed-- fabulous. If not, I'm hip to that as well. Relationships regardless of the kind, shape or form should not define the individual and be the center of the universe and raison d'etre. Relationships are important to us as humans; my attempt is to not devalue them here but instead re-emphasize one of the most important relationships that we have is with ourselves... "to thine own self be true" and oftentimes we're not. We're accustomed to fast food, fast cures, quickie marriages and divorces... I think that a lot of folks operate on the premise that being in a relationship will "fix" whatever is wrong in their lives when instead, over time, it simply magnifies them...
So what's your take on the state of relationships now-a-days?
(1) Why most relationships/marriages don't work in today's society.
Ok... if you think on it, most relationships/marriages historically have placed the male in the role of "provider" and the female as the "nuturer." Thus, the female (historically) has felt an obligation (societal/personal/religious mores) to "allow" the male to be "dominant" in the relationship (e.g., "A man's home is his castle," "bringing home the bacon/sizzlelean) and therefore the "female" has "deferred"opinion/concern (whatever) to the male as a result (You're either yawning, saying, "Tell me something I don't already know;" or even, "Yes dammit. Yes. YES! That's exactly how it's supposed to be!) Now-a-days, it would seem that in the vast majority of relationships both partners have a job where neither is doing the whole June Cleaver pearl-wearing, milk & cookies-after-school thing. As a result, the female is not inherently dependent on the male as a provider... hell she's out huntin' the big game with the "King of the Castle" too. She may also bring in more "game" (read: $$) into the relationship and therefore may be a teench reluctant at the end of the day to "fetch the slippers, fix dinner, bathe the kid(s), put 'em all in bed and oh by the way, give me a blowjob while I'm watching Monday Nite football." Anymore, the most likely response to that would be: "I've had a hard day too." Translated means: "Get it yourself; fix it yourself; they'll do it themselves and take care of it yourself." Women are wanting to be taken care of nutured too. Women want men to treat us equally but also treat us as females (not like a passive species that just happens to be there at a time of convenience). Yes, I know it's a contradiction. Generally women have jobs, work the same number of total weekly hours (if not more) as their male counterparts-- and instead of feeling as though they can return to the bosom of their family with the understanding that the equalivalent of a beer/tv remote in hand while sitting in the Barcolounger (which may be defined as relaxing UNDISTURBED in a bathtub), well, non-existant. I can guaranandamntee ya that it ain't cookin' vittles, washing a "quick" load of clothes (is there any such thing as a quick load? It takes the same time to do as a "slow" load."), helping with homework, combing gum out of hair and the myraid of other things that occur in the evening hours. Granted... this is a generalization; the roles could be reversed but it's kinda like a unicorn ... you know it may exist but no one has ever really seen it. Ergo, since in today's society we are all forced to work (generally speaking) in some capacity or another, overall, women's self-reliance has increased and the all consuming need to swallow, rather than spit, has diminished exponentially as a result. If I was a betting woman, I'd bet that the 1800's woman married to some farmer who got a wild hair to go "out west" to farm/settle, would've divorced/left her hay-chewin' husband and headed back to town (where there may've been running water and you didn't have to dig in the fields with a baby on your tit)- 'fore the sun went down on his ass; no brainer. Not many women out there would HONESTLY rather (in a comparasion) "be" Laura Ingalls instead of Miss Kitty.
(2) Why all of the whine-assin' about not being in a relationship?
When the hell did people stop trying to make themselves happy first? Have folks forgotten a fundamental principle about being happy themselves, not relying on another for happiness... one of those "ya just gotta reach out and grab it by the balls things" that no one else can do (or is responsible) for ya? You ask and folks will tell you: "I want to marry someone. I want to marry my best friend." I just have to tell you, it's highly doubtful that occurs on a routine basis like this. It may happen and it may work like that for some; I tend to think that people can't separate love/lust and can't see further than the penis that they own or are "using." So like yourself first before you start inviting others into the misery of your own making; in the end, you'll be miserable and so will they. Sucks to be on the receiving end of either part of that stick.
(3) What the hell is up with feeling as though you have to make excuses for or justifying being single?
Who cares? Be happy with yourself and the hell with what other people think, or don't. This also goes along with being true to yourself. Sometimes folks get all creative and "pretend" (yes, I said pretend) to be someone they are not while dating in the hopes of lasso-ing that big hunk o' man (or woman) and sealing the deal. I have one question for you: What the hell are you doing? Any moron can get married. It takes a lot more effort, work and compromise to be in a real relationship. If you're making shit up about yourself, you're no where near ready to be in a relationship with anyone-- including yourself (you are after all lying to yourself, right? So if you can't be honest with yourself, who the hell can you be honest with?).
(4) I'm miserable because I'm single (variation: I need a wo/man to make me feel complete) and if I were married/in a monogamous relationship I'd feel more positive.
Bullshit. See number 3. You'd still be the same miserable shit you are now except you'd be sharing it with the one that you supposedly "love." I understand being depressed and yes, there are times in everyone's life that people get depressed. What I don't understand (or have patience for) is chronic depression (these are the folks that are depressed for YEARS). People who are chronically depressed do nothing but piss me off. They're wallowing in self-pity, egocentricism... and selfishness. "WHOOOAAA is MEEEEE." Get yourself some help; life is too short to be depressed for most of it. Succinctly: let whatever issue that's got or has had you by the balls for the last 20 years go or get help for it... shut up about it and move the hell on.
As for me, I don't have all of the answers and don't pretend to know. I'm not Dr. Phil or Oprah or any one else that is licensed to give advise (solicited or not). I've not been married for 50 years (and probably won't be); but I do know this... I'm not settling for something or someone that isn't right for me. If Prince Charming comes along on his trusty steed-- fabulous. If not, I'm hip to that as well. Relationships regardless of the kind, shape or form should not define the individual and be the center of the universe and raison d'etre. Relationships are important to us as humans; my attempt is to not devalue them here but instead re-emphasize one of the most important relationships that we have is with ourselves... "to thine own self be true" and oftentimes we're not. We're accustomed to fast food, fast cures, quickie marriages and divorces... I think that a lot of folks operate on the premise that being in a relationship will "fix" whatever is wrong in their lives when instead, over time, it simply magnifies them...
So what's your take on the state of relationships now-a-days?
Labels: Relationships
Nanny 911
My eldest son was watching, Nanny911 tonight. I've just got this to say...I would find it surprising indeed for any self-respecting Southerner (and not a freaking snowbird... but someone actually born/raised here) to be on that show, ever. That's right, I said ever. Here's why... I don't know what all ya'll put up from your younguns north and west of the Mason Dixon Line but here's a couple of things that will get your butt greased in the Piggly Wiggly down here (and not necessarily by your Momma or anyone that you actually know)-- we may be rednecks down here but we are, at least, well-mannered rednecks:
(1) Disrespecting your parents/grand-parents/basically anyone older than you. All of that magic is spanked right out of you with a switch that you gathered at first light at your Mother's request. Basically that is a HUGE "no-no" here. Don't even go there... it ain't pretty if you do. You are instead taught to say, "Ma'am/Sir" as in "Thank you, Sir/Ma'am," "Please Ma'am/Sir." If not, you're simply slapped into next week by the first available hand that can reach you. Then, they'll find your parent, find someone that you know or that knows your parents/grandparents--tell them and lastly will shame you with this nuggest for the rest of your life ("Hey... aren't you so-and-so's youngun? I thought so. I remember when you were a little thing and you did..."). Yup... everyone will know what an asshole you were at 3, will look at you cock-eyed and probably still think of you as such until you die. Matter-of-fact, they'll remember you at your funeral the same way: "Remember when..." There's no escaping it. Better to just not do it, please ma'am/sir.
(2) Hitting your parent. When did this get to be okay? I would think this would be obvious... but I'm going to go there any how. I don't advocate beating your child senseless by any means, but I'm not opposed to dusting their britches if other alternatives haven't worked. Being born and raised in the South, you have ingrained in you that you WILL respect your parents, grandparents, etc. or they will assist you in that endeavor. As many grandparent and parent would suggest to their upstart pertaining to this issue: "I think I'd be more afraid of what's going to happen when your Momma finds out rather than worry about what your friends think." Always a good reminder... as my mother told me... "If you think I'll be embarrassed finding out about whatever it is you're gettin' into, then you don't need it or don't need to do it." Shame and guilt works just as well as spankings, time-out or any thing else punitive. I've yet to hear on the news of any child born and raised here in the rural South killing their mother/father. They'd probably know that their parent would make it a point to haunt their ass for the rest of their days; Amityville Horror would have nothing on this.
(3) Children with potty-mouths/swearing/cursing. When did it get okay for a child to know more swear words than you? When did it get to be okay to say them in front of your child? When did it get to be okay with them swearing in front of you? This plainly and simply goes back to respect; respecting yourself and respecting your family. Free speech is fine and I love a good debate; however, I don't want to see "trash" coming out of a 4 year old's mouth. It's amazing to me all of the cursing that is on TV. It's like stopping the tide. You know that they are going to hear it at some point, but do they really need to hear it repeatedly from their parent? Soap and water worked fine with us as children...is anyone out there suffering from some sort of "Post-Traumatic Mouth Washing Syndrome?"
(4): When did parent's lose control of the children? On this particular show, it was like the animals were running the zoo... totally out of control. You don't have to have children under your thumb per se; you do have to set and actually (GASP!) enforce the limits that you've set... ergo, this means discipline- since kids, by nature, are going to test the limits and see if you really, really, REALLY mean it. So really, really, REALLY mean it when you set limits...limits to live by as it were. If you're inconsistent, they're going to know you're full of shit and can manipulate you into conceding. Other than that, love your kids. Get down on the floor and have fun with them, hug 'em, kiss 'em, tell 'em that you love 'em and mean it. Listen to them and the things that they will tell you. Tell them that you need them in your life and that you are glad they are here with you; they need to hear this as well. I think that's one of the things I remember most about my childhood in the South. I remember, no matter what was going on (read: in trouble or not), I knew that I was loved, wanted and needed.
Other than that, I thought that Nanny Whoever was right on target (I just know she's looking for my seal of approval, don't you?)... the bulk of the problems on the show tonight were a direct result from the parent's relationship. Neither respected each other; both were very angry with each other... and it showed. Not only in their relationship, but also the relationships that the children had with each other and with each parent.
That's my take on it even if I am GRITS (Girl Raised In The South)...
Labels: Nanny 911
Cheaters....
In speaking with a pal recently, we began discussing cheating. Doesn't really matter the context if you ask me... cheating is cheating regardless if it's cheating in a relationship , cheating the IRS, cheating while playing Monopoly; hell even cheating the folks at fast food chains when they give you too much money back- it's all the same. Cheaters succinctly suck the big one.
Here's why... (for point of reference, let's use the relationship cheater). So you meet and hook up with someone. Eventually at some point you start to think, "HEY.. this could be IT... the ONE." Over time, insidious as cancer, things start to not add up (I don't care how careful you are to hide it eventually the truth is coming out) and you give the benefit of the doubt ("Nooooo... not them." What you really mean is: "I can't believe this shit's happening to me!" and you begin contemplating buying Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey in gallons and Kleenex in vast quantities if you're not already thinking about immediate revenge.) Meanwhile, while they're out getting a nut you're by yourself trying to make yourself better (whatever that may mean to you) and wondering, "When did this happen?" and "When did they stop loving me?"
Thing is cheating is bullshit. The cheater is the one with the "issues" but instead of confronting the problem head-on (excuse the pun) they foist all of this incredible crap on to someone else (regardless if the non-cheater person is an asshole or not) to deal with. I've heard the same BS from just about everyone: "I would never cheat on someone." Next thing you know they're having sex without YOU next to the empty milk crates in the back of the Piggly Wiggly. Thing is, do we actually BELIEVE the bullshit that we're selling to each other? I firmly believe that it takes more balls to tell someone (to borrow a phrase), "I'm just not that into you" anymore and be done with it. WHAM! Hurts like hell, you move on- you may even actually respect the person for being straight up with you about it in the first place. I know I would. Instead here's what "we" do: Lie. Yup, lie; and not just lie but lies with FLAIR! "No bebe... I don't know them... S/He's a stalker!" or some other stupid, vapid bullshit that when the potential for emotional injury comes up we actually believe, or try very hard to believe at any rate (denial can be a beautiful thing). So what happens next? You find out that it's true. Then comes the fun part- this is where a vast majority seek years of psychological therapy or contemplate and finalize plans for going postal on someone. Instead of the cheater being the only one with real baggage in this dysfunctional relationship, they provide a "carry-on" bag for someone else. So here is this poor SOB totin' the "What's wrong with me?" and the "no trust" carry-on that they will literally carry for most of their collective lives while the cheater continues on sharing with the "world" and amazingly enough, the cheaters baggage never lightens. This can go on for YEARS depending on the non-cheater and how desparate they are to stay in a relationship for whatever freaking reason... meanwhile... the cheater is out frolicking...
I think more people try and define a line, "What is considered cheating?" Here's my take and it's worth what you're paying for it (nuttin- opinions are cost-competitive. I'll trade mine for yours): Thinking about cheating IS cheating... if you're thinking about it, you're pretty damned close to hatching a plan and following through with it. In which case, I believe not only that you're an asshole by default but that your should have to wear an obligatory sign around your neck for all to be both warned and to bear witness that you're wearing emotional spiderman/barbie underroo's and can't be trusted to act like a grown up big person. Thing is folks, the grass ain't greener on the other side, the grass may just be mowed alittle different.
Having said that: What's your definitive, deal-breaking, cheating line in the sand?
Here's why... (for point of reference, let's use the relationship cheater). So you meet and hook up with someone. Eventually at some point you start to think, "HEY.. this could be IT... the ONE." Over time, insidious as cancer, things start to not add up (I don't care how careful you are to hide it eventually the truth is coming out) and you give the benefit of the doubt ("Nooooo... not them." What you really mean is: "I can't believe this shit's happening to me!" and you begin contemplating buying Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey in gallons and Kleenex in vast quantities if you're not already thinking about immediate revenge.) Meanwhile, while they're out getting a nut you're by yourself trying to make yourself better (whatever that may mean to you) and wondering, "When did this happen?" and "When did they stop loving me?"
Thing is cheating is bullshit. The cheater is the one with the "issues" but instead of confronting the problem head-on (excuse the pun) they foist all of this incredible crap on to someone else (regardless if the non-cheater person is an asshole or not) to deal with. I've heard the same BS from just about everyone: "I would never cheat on someone." Next thing you know they're having sex without YOU next to the empty milk crates in the back of the Piggly Wiggly. Thing is, do we actually BELIEVE the bullshit that we're selling to each other? I firmly believe that it takes more balls to tell someone (to borrow a phrase), "I'm just not that into you" anymore and be done with it. WHAM! Hurts like hell, you move on- you may even actually respect the person for being straight up with you about it in the first place. I know I would. Instead here's what "we" do: Lie. Yup, lie; and not just lie but lies with FLAIR! "No bebe... I don't know them... S/He's a stalker!" or some other stupid, vapid bullshit that when the potential for emotional injury comes up we actually believe, or try very hard to believe at any rate (denial can be a beautiful thing). So what happens next? You find out that it's true. Then comes the fun part- this is where a vast majority seek years of psychological therapy or contemplate and finalize plans for going postal on someone. Instead of the cheater being the only one with real baggage in this dysfunctional relationship, they provide a "carry-on" bag for someone else. So here is this poor SOB totin' the "What's wrong with me?" and the "no trust" carry-on that they will literally carry for most of their collective lives while the cheater continues on sharing with the "world" and amazingly enough, the cheaters baggage never lightens. This can go on for YEARS depending on the non-cheater and how desparate they are to stay in a relationship for whatever freaking reason... meanwhile... the cheater is out frolicking...
I think more people try and define a line, "What is considered cheating?" Here's my take and it's worth what you're paying for it (nuttin- opinions are cost-competitive. I'll trade mine for yours): Thinking about cheating IS cheating... if you're thinking about it, you're pretty damned close to hatching a plan and following through with it. In which case, I believe not only that you're an asshole by default but that your should have to wear an obligatory sign around your neck for all to be both warned and to bear witness that you're wearing emotional spiderman/barbie underroo's and can't be trusted to act like a grown up big person. Thing is folks, the grass ain't greener on the other side, the grass may just be mowed alittle different.
Having said that: What's your definitive, deal-breaking, cheating line in the sand?
What happened?
In the darkness last night, I was wondering, "what the hell happened to me?" I guess that requires some sort of clarification in that I was thinking of who I used to be before I had kids, a decent job; yanno, responsibilities. It's not that I don't love my younguns, but it's also about loving yourself too--having enough for you left over at the end of the day so you don't end up a self-imposed martyr wondering, "WTF do I do now that the kids are grown and gone?"
I think I remember but it's almost like I remember it happening to someone else. Pictures from that time in my life are a warm reminder but as I look at myself and friends I wonder, "What happened to that girl?" I remember living on Diet Pepsi and Oreo's, nightly slumber of 2-3 hours a night to cite a couple of things. Mostly I remember not feeling like I'm getting older, yanno? In my heart, I feel like I am in my 20's... as they say, the mind is willing but the body ain't able. I looked at my hand the other day and I noticed an age spot for the love of Christ. I don't have gray hair, I don't have many wrinkles (or ::ahem:: laugh lines).. but I have an age spots?!! I got to thinking that here I am at 40 years old; don't feel it for the most and I'm thinking that maybe, just maybe, I've got another 30 years before I'm taking the eternal dirt nap. I don't know what the next 30 years hold for me- time keeps slipping away from me as fast I try to slow it down alittle. I've still got shit to do yet and basically nothing that has anything to do with my day job. Here's what I've left to do:
1.) Write a book (albeit it has to be a GOOD book);
2.) I want to work the drive-thru at McDonalds for about 15 minutes (just to wear the "cool" looking headgear and perma-stained polyester, piss people off by mumbling and tell them shit like we're out of fries today. I figure 15 minutes may be alittle too long, but it may be kinda fun while it lasts).
3.) I want to go (and actually matriculate) from grad school.
4.) I want to be loved as I love someone. Since I've already mastered my own domain, I'm looking for greener pastures and new hills to conquer.
5.) I want to look like one of those people who have absolutely nothing better to do than to work out and lay by the pool being all hedonistic and self-indulgent. I don't even remember when the last time I was in the bathroom by myself without someone accompanying me or knocking on the door. Hedonism would be a relative novelty at this point.
These are some of the things I've yet to do... but what of you? What have you left to do?
Labels: What happened?
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Not a Geek but wish I was.
I'm in the process of converting sites and, as a "bonus" am trying to figure this whole "just plug this into your HTML template" bullshit out. I've now realized that I am NOT a rocket scientist, nor will I ever be or aspire to be a rocket scientist. I've dug crap out of people (literally) and worn a lung on my back (almost literally) after a very long 12 hour shift, but I can't get the freakin' template on the blog to load right. The bitch of it is-- I know that some 9 year old somewhere is busy hacking into something that they shouldn't and/or creating the new WINDOWS 9000. Go figure. I used to save lives... now I save files. LOL